Hi,
Surprise! Surprise! You're not really surprised, are you? :D
Umm...It's been 2 weeks since you left the country right? I'm surviving. Yehey! At times like these, I am surviving without you. It's amazing... Isn't it? Oh, I have to send you the letters I wrote since you left.
I know what you're thinking. I'm starting to blabber. Yeah, I know.
I'm doing good. Really... ok that was a lie. Things are not perfect but everything's fine. I'm having problems eating again but it's not as worse as before, so you really have nothing to worry about and my head's not very clear in making decisions but so far, no regrets.
I read your email again last night. The email which I think made you cry no matter how much you deny it :P (c'mon dude, admit it). On your email, you called me an angel. Which is actually the second time you did. The first time, it made me smile. The second, made me cry. So it's true, that angels only pass in your life but they're not there to stay? Do angels get attached? Do they get hurt when they're separated from the person they've helped or saved?
Seriously, I feel like a kid right now. A kid left standing in the middle of a mall's ground floor looking around to see where her parents are with a sea of people surrounding her. I know this time will come. The time when you have to leave and stay with your family. The idea used to be ok. But now? Oh gosh. Umm... it hurts. So bad. It's not a bad kind of pain but a sad one. You get what I mean? And I am so scared! There, I said it. I'm not going to pretend and lie and tell you I was prepared.
Why does it hurt so bad? Is it because I was a wounded girl when you and mommy took me to your home? I was that broken, wasn't I? Have I been to dependent? Too bonded?
*sigh* Just like a bird, I have to learn how to fly on my own. You taught me a lot and I owe you a lot. I hope I made you proud. I'm taking the risks of trusting people again. You said I will never learn if I don't try. Thank you for always believing that I have a good heart. Thank you for teaching me how to forgive. Thank you for always knowing what I need and tolerating the times I act like a kid. Thank you for always being honest even it hurts sometimes. Thank you for helping me become a better person. Thank you for always doing what's good for me and protecting me in any way you can. Thank you for always taking the time to pray with me even when we're not together. When I have to call you over the phone in the middle of the night just to pray with me or pray for me because I feel so lost. Thank you so much TJ.
I know this will pass. I only need to let the tears flow until my eyes dry up... until there's no pain anymore.
Surprise! Surprise! You're not really surprised, are you? :D
Umm...It's been 2 weeks since you left the country right? I'm surviving. Yehey! At times like these, I am surviving without you. It's amazing... Isn't it? Oh, I have to send you the letters I wrote since you left.
I know what you're thinking. I'm starting to blabber. Yeah, I know.
I'm doing good. Really... ok that was a lie. Things are not perfect but everything's fine. I'm having problems eating again but it's not as worse as before, so you really have nothing to worry about and my head's not very clear in making decisions but so far, no regrets.
I read your email again last night. The email which I think made you cry no matter how much you deny it :P (c'mon dude, admit it). On your email, you called me an angel. Which is actually the second time you did. The first time, it made me smile. The second, made me cry. So it's true, that angels only pass in your life but they're not there to stay? Do angels get attached? Do they get hurt when they're separated from the person they've helped or saved?
Seriously, I feel like a kid right now. A kid left standing in the middle of a mall's ground floor looking around to see where her parents are with a sea of people surrounding her. I know this time will come. The time when you have to leave and stay with your family. The idea used to be ok. But now? Oh gosh. Umm... it hurts. So bad. It's not a bad kind of pain but a sad one. You get what I mean? And I am so scared! There, I said it. I'm not going to pretend and lie and tell you I was prepared.
Why does it hurt so bad? Is it because I was a wounded girl when you and mommy took me to your home? I was that broken, wasn't I? Have I been to dependent? Too bonded?
*sigh* Just like a bird, I have to learn how to fly on my own. You taught me a lot and I owe you a lot. I hope I made you proud. I'm taking the risks of trusting people again. You said I will never learn if I don't try. Thank you for always believing that I have a good heart. Thank you for teaching me how to forgive. Thank you for always knowing what I need and tolerating the times I act like a kid. Thank you for always being honest even it hurts sometimes. Thank you for helping me become a better person. Thank you for always doing what's good for me and protecting me in any way you can. Thank you for always taking the time to pray with me even when we're not together. When I have to call you over the phone in the middle of the night just to pray with me or pray for me because I feel so lost. Thank you so much TJ.
I know this will pass. I only need to let the tears flow until my eyes dry up... until there's no pain anymore.
chi, nakakaiyak :(
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