sana makahinga na ko

We’re good friends. Siguro nga best buddies na tayo. The whole day we do our separate jobs pero once in a while, you call me or I call you sa work. Di pa tayo makuntento, may text pa. Sasabihin mo lang naman sa akin na inaantok ka at sasabihin ko naman sa iyo na hindi masarap yung kinakain kong lunch.

If we’re not satisfied, we call each other sa cell phone kahit magkasama lang tayo a couple of minutes ago. Wala namang importanteng pag-uusapan. We just want each other to hear kung ano yung reaction natin sa last text message. Minsan feeling ko humuhinga na lang tayo sa phone. *yawn* Then we’ll realize ilang oras na pala tayong nasa cellphone. Ayos! Parang landline. Parang ang dami nating money pambayad ng bill. Parang walang bukas. Mukha tuloy tayong deprived of someone to talk to. Hindi naman tayo adik noh? Kasi, saan naman tayo addicted?

“Sa isat-isa”, my friend told me once. Of course not.

We can share anything to each other. Even if mukha na tayong engs sa kwento natin, we don’t really care. Super friends talaga tayo. I remember one morning, I told you I wasn’t feeling well. You didn’t allow me to go home alone. You want to excuse yourself from work para lang sunduin ako sa office at ihatid ako sa bahay. Pare, I can go home alone. Di pa naman ako paralisado. Pero thank you, iba ka talaga.

“Di naman kayo in love noh?”, sabi ng ibang kong friends. Of course not! Inlove? Ano yun? Wala yun sa vocabulary namin.

Then one day, you told me you were falling. Oh my. Wala akong na-react. Pero promise, super smile ako nun (but you don’t know it then). Pero hindi ako kinilig. Smile lang. Di lang me nakatulog at saka nilibre ko lang naman si Tine and Kirk ng dinner the next day.

After that, it’s like nothing happened. Hindi nga yun uso diba?

Ang galing! Walang ilangan. Back to normal tayo. But why is it that lately, when my cellphone rings or beeps, gusto ko name mo yung makikita ko? The other day nung kasama kita, nothing cryptic naman. But when I was in your car on our way home, naiiyak na ko kasi I feel suffocated! Suffocated sa sobrang kilig. Gusto kong sumigaw. I feel sasabog na talaga yung heart ko. Oo na corny but I felt then that I have to open the window ‘coz I really need air to breathe. Yung aircon kasi sa car mo, scent mo yata ang binubuga, lalo tuloy akong di mapakali at makahinga. I wished na sana hindi traffic para maging ok na ko pero winish ko rin na sana traffic para matagal kitang kasama. Ang gulo ko!

So while I tried figuring out how to stay calm in your presence, my phone beeped. Nag-text si Shuchi, “sis, kiss mo na siya!”. Mga tao talaga, minsan ka na lang humingi ng advice, di pa makapag-bigay ng matino. Pero pano nga kaya if I kissed you? Yuck! Tama ba yun?! Eeeeeek!

Dati pa kita nakakasama but why am I acting so crazy now? Like na yata kita (huh?). no way! Of course I like you because we’re friends. More than that… nah. Indifferent na ko when it comes to matters of the heart. But…. So what if your thoughtful, talented, has a good sense of humor, smart, and…. Cute. May iba rin namang guys na ganyan ah.

Now, ok na ko. You called me a while ago saying na sabay na lang tayo pauwi. Di naman kita miss. Di rin naman ako kinikilig. Why is it that parang on-off yung feeling? Hay…. Bahala na.

Basta wish ko lang….

Sana makahinga na ko ng ayos pag kasama kita.


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thanks to sheena for inspiring me to write this entry *wink*