Before I start saying anything, I’d like to say beep-beep!. I don’t just guess, but I’m perfectly sure I’ll be hitting a number of people in this entry. It may appear rude, but at least, you wouldn’t blame me for not warning you. (and besides, this is my site). So if you think I have some message for you and you don’t want to know what it is, you can stop reading now.
The introduction may appear negative but what I’m about to say are things that I’ve kept for such a long time. Don’t think that I’m mad or anything. I’m just about to undergo a bit of purging to be able to breathe. Yes, I may have posted a lot of bull’s-eye-hitting entries but believe me, it’s a mere three-tenths of what I’m feeling and thinking. However, I’m not going to talk about my pain or disappointment alone. I’m actually taking the risk of telling some of you about my feelings and answering some of your questions which I know have been running in your head but never had the courage to ask.
I honestly do not know where I got the audacity to do this but I’ll take advantage of the rare chance. I can’t mention the real names of most of you. Some of you have your own nicks which is only understood by you and me alone. To those who don’t, I’m positive that you’ll get which message is yours. If you can’t, I’m sorry. Hooo… so here goes.
1. kehl. At times it was difficult. Things were so much better and safe when you were here. But this is good. I learned to live by myself. I’ve been a spoiled brat and it was your fault and yes, such treatment is way better than the royal one :)
2. bertrand. I never felt that what you proposed was bad. It was awesome!!! Hihihi wish you were here! You’re the best partner for that plan.
3. sis in yellow. I don’t think it’s a good thing to think that your boyfriend would be happier with me. I don’t get that idea. Have you actually lost your head? I’m not even attracted to him. Heck, he loves you big time. What else should be done to prove that to you? How could you actually forget that I’ve helped you get back together a couple of years ago? You’re acting like this because you did something bad. So please!
4. donald. You’re over protective….. and I like that. You have your own way of making it lighter for me.
5. sham. I used to think that you were an angel but I was wrong. I used to think you were a good friend and I was also wrong. Despite the fact that the things you did to my guy friend irritated me, I managed to look at you in a different angle. You also did some of those irritating things to me but I overlooked that as well. I find it unfortunate that you were born with such character. Your realm rejected you in some way and you went to us for comfort and probably understanding, bringing with you things which I can now call “bait”. We trusted you too much that we fell for it. I don’t know what’s your goal why you even offered yourself for help. We respected you but I guess you don’t know what that word truly means. All I know is that you did everything to save your face. And that just makes you so ugly. I’m thankful that he didn’t fall for you. He’s too wonderful just to fall for some freaky girl.
6. Mr-I-am-not-avoiding-you-miss!. I didn’t win. We never played any game. Did we? I’m so glad that everything’s clear now (I hope I’m right). Thank you for being bold enough to admit every thought and every feeling you had in the past. Thank you for the friendship and for saving me from being the rebound girl. I appreciate that. It’s just really funny that we survived almost 5 years of healthy argument :) It was fun. Really :) I’m so sorry for turning all your invitations down. It’s not that I don’t wanna see you. I just want to make sure that I won’t be tempted to knock you down if we argue personally *wink* Another thing, remember when you asked me if I remember the time that we were together and you admitted you wanted to…ummm.. you know… I said “no I don’t” right? Honestly I do. I remember that. And I’d like to say thank you and I’m so glad that you were able to gather enough self-control. You’re right, I have no idea how difficult that was. So I’ll just say thank you. Can you just imagine if you did that? I can’t.
7. trist. You are the sweetest and most romantic guy I have ever met. You can make a girl swoon even if she doesn’t romantically like you. If 10 is the perfect score, you’ll get a 20. Man, it even makes me wonder if you are real. It’s all too much! At times, I want to cry and say “huhuhu tama na! di ko na to kaya!”
8. fiona. Surprise! Would you believe that I would have something for you? I learned you lurk at my site (I’m sorry to disappoint you but you were never mentioned in any of my entries) so I decided, why not give you some acknowledgement? My friend has actually lived a quiet life for almost a year now. We couldn’t believe you still couldn’t stop talking about her and saying things that make us say “Ha? Ano raw?” with matching raised-eyebrow and after 2 seconds, burst in laughter. What else do you want? You got the rotten guy you’ve always wanted to have. You try to project this I’m-a-good-girl-isn’t-it-convincing image but it just makes us laugh because the evil in you pops out of your eyes. Aren’t you contented with what you have? hmm…. We could offer you some really good guys. Would you like to try some of them?
9. Patrick. Thank you so much for everything that you taught me. Thank you for the love and the friendship. Thank you for the conversations and for patiently answering my questions. Thank you for the lunch, the dinner, the red balloon, the piggy toy and of course… thank you for the flowers. All the flowers you sent were nice. Thank you for the carbonara, which you cooked for me and for some of my officemates. Thank you for taking the effort of dropping by at my office during lunch just to bring the food and the invitation. Please thank your mom for the food she asked you to give me after the fiesta. They’re all yum! Yum! Send her my thanks for all her invitations. Her invitation to join your family in celebrating you birthday last time and her invitation to attend grandmas’s bday party. kakatouch. Pwamis! I mean, she even gave me an invitation even if I already told her I wouldn’t come! She even gave me a souvenir even if I didn’t come! My apologies but I do hope she understands. Your mom has really been so wonderful and your dad is really cool. They’ve always made me feel that I belong. It’s really, really wonderful. And it felt really good. I do hope that one day I can finally say yes to their invitation that I visit them in Cavite.
10. Jierarudo. Hi. hahaha umm… thank you for your time the other night. I truly appreciate that. Now, I learned to look at you differently (Not romantically though hehehe). It feels good to see that side of you. I now believe what you’ve said and what you keep on saying. Thank you for putting me in that position. Thank you for everything. Basta thank you.
11. Mr. Separate Lives. I’m so happy that you are so in love with…. Me… este her pala (ngork!) I’m really, really happy and so kilig! I pray that things will turn out well. Remember your joke before? “She” (remember?) may be jealous that we’re like this that’s why she did that to me? I somehow agree with that. It’s possible. No joke. sabi ko naman sa iyo sagutin mo na siya malay mo hindi yun nangyari hahaha
12. lavenderI pity you at some point. But every mistake has its consequence. I suggest you guard your dog very well… you don’t know where he lurks at night. And oh! By the way, I just want to make it clear. I didn’t put any bait to make him come to me. I was stupefied one night I heard him barking on my gate with tears in his eyes asking for food and shelter. How tragic… don’t you think?
13. Bore. ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA MO. And now you’re trying to save your face? ha ha ha You make me wanna vomit. You could have been more honest. I’m sure things would have gotten better. And I could have given you a calling card of one of the best flower shops in town and where to buy the cutest bears!
14. Blued. After the little red box in my bag, the weirdest thing that popped at my computer screen, the shocking event at the parking lot of Festival Mall wherein I wondered what to do to stop people from actually looking, and the dirt that the flowers created at the hood of my car…. I’m saying… yes.
15. christian. I miss your mom. She has an amazing talent. Idol! Mana ka! :) and umm… I heard what you just said last week when we were together. I wasn’t sleeping. I just closed my eyes ‘coz my head hurts. My reaction? Hay…
16. arn. How do you numb your skin after a romantic touch? How do you free your soul after you found a friend? How do you teach your heart to cry to fall in love again? :D your confession is really flattering. I know that a lot of girls want you to look at them the way you look at me (wag ka nang mag-deny. As if I don’t know anything). Thank you for appreciating who I am. Muntik na nga kong mapa-tumbling nun kaso di ako marunong. hahaha ;p Salamat po
17. tim. What more can I ask from you? Nothing I guess. Thank you for taking the risk of putting yourself into trouble. I pray that you’ll be blessed for all the good things you’ve done to me. 9 points? Keep it up! It’s nice talking to you again. Nice seeing you again. Good people are blessed so I’m confident that things will be better for you. Thank you for everything. Super thank you.
18. popo. I hope I did not offend you with my honesty.
The introduction may appear negative but what I’m about to say are things that I’ve kept for such a long time. Don’t think that I’m mad or anything. I’m just about to undergo a bit of purging to be able to breathe. Yes, I may have posted a lot of bull’s-eye-hitting entries but believe me, it’s a mere three-tenths of what I’m feeling and thinking. However, I’m not going to talk about my pain or disappointment alone. I’m actually taking the risk of telling some of you about my feelings and answering some of your questions which I know have been running in your head but never had the courage to ask.
I honestly do not know where I got the audacity to do this but I’ll take advantage of the rare chance. I can’t mention the real names of most of you. Some of you have your own nicks which is only understood by you and me alone. To those who don’t, I’m positive that you’ll get which message is yours. If you can’t, I’m sorry. Hooo… so here goes.
1. kehl. At times it was difficult. Things were so much better and safe when you were here. But this is good. I learned to live by myself. I’ve been a spoiled brat and it was your fault and yes, such treatment is way better than the royal one :)
2. bertrand. I never felt that what you proposed was bad. It was awesome!!! Hihihi wish you were here! You’re the best partner for that plan.
3. sis in yellow. I don’t think it’s a good thing to think that your boyfriend would be happier with me. I don’t get that idea. Have you actually lost your head? I’m not even attracted to him. Heck, he loves you big time. What else should be done to prove that to you? How could you actually forget that I’ve helped you get back together a couple of years ago? You’re acting like this because you did something bad. So please!
4. donald. You’re over protective….. and I like that. You have your own way of making it lighter for me.
5. sham. I used to think that you were an angel but I was wrong. I used to think you were a good friend and I was also wrong. Despite the fact that the things you did to my guy friend irritated me, I managed to look at you in a different angle. You also did some of those irritating things to me but I overlooked that as well. I find it unfortunate that you were born with such character. Your realm rejected you in some way and you went to us for comfort and probably understanding, bringing with you things which I can now call “bait”. We trusted you too much that we fell for it. I don’t know what’s your goal why you even offered yourself for help. We respected you but I guess you don’t know what that word truly means. All I know is that you did everything to save your face. And that just makes you so ugly. I’m thankful that he didn’t fall for you. He’s too wonderful just to fall for some freaky girl.
6. Mr-I-am-not-avoiding-you-miss!. I didn’t win. We never played any game. Did we? I’m so glad that everything’s clear now (I hope I’m right). Thank you for being bold enough to admit every thought and every feeling you had in the past. Thank you for the friendship and for saving me from being the rebound girl. I appreciate that. It’s just really funny that we survived almost 5 years of healthy argument :) It was fun. Really :) I’m so sorry for turning all your invitations down. It’s not that I don’t wanna see you. I just want to make sure that I won’t be tempted to knock you down if we argue personally *wink* Another thing, remember when you asked me if I remember the time that we were together and you admitted you wanted to…ummm.. you know… I said “no I don’t” right? Honestly I do. I remember that. And I’d like to say thank you and I’m so glad that you were able to gather enough self-control. You’re right, I have no idea how difficult that was. So I’ll just say thank you. Can you just imagine if you did that? I can’t.
7. trist. You are the sweetest and most romantic guy I have ever met. You can make a girl swoon even if she doesn’t romantically like you. If 10 is the perfect score, you’ll get a 20. Man, it even makes me wonder if you are real. It’s all too much! At times, I want to cry and say “huhuhu tama na! di ko na to kaya!”
8. fiona. Surprise! Would you believe that I would have something for you? I learned you lurk at my site (I’m sorry to disappoint you but you were never mentioned in any of my entries) so I decided, why not give you some acknowledgement? My friend has actually lived a quiet life for almost a year now. We couldn’t believe you still couldn’t stop talking about her and saying things that make us say “Ha? Ano raw?” with matching raised-eyebrow and after 2 seconds, burst in laughter. What else do you want? You got the rotten guy you’ve always wanted to have. You try to project this I’m-a-good-girl-isn’t-it-convincing image but it just makes us laugh because the evil in you pops out of your eyes. Aren’t you contented with what you have? hmm…. We could offer you some really good guys. Would you like to try some of them?
9. Patrick. Thank you so much for everything that you taught me. Thank you for the love and the friendship. Thank you for the conversations and for patiently answering my questions. Thank you for the lunch, the dinner, the red balloon, the piggy toy and of course… thank you for the flowers. All the flowers you sent were nice. Thank you for the carbonara, which you cooked for me and for some of my officemates. Thank you for taking the effort of dropping by at my office during lunch just to bring the food and the invitation. Please thank your mom for the food she asked you to give me after the fiesta. They’re all yum! Yum! Send her my thanks for all her invitations. Her invitation to join your family in celebrating you birthday last time and her invitation to attend grandmas’s bday party. kakatouch. Pwamis! I mean, she even gave me an invitation even if I already told her I wouldn’t come! She even gave me a souvenir even if I didn’t come! My apologies but I do hope she understands. Your mom has really been so wonderful and your dad is really cool. They’ve always made me feel that I belong. It’s really, really wonderful. And it felt really good. I do hope that one day I can finally say yes to their invitation that I visit them in Cavite.
10. Jierarudo. Hi. hahaha umm… thank you for your time the other night. I truly appreciate that. Now, I learned to look at you differently (Not romantically though hehehe). It feels good to see that side of you. I now believe what you’ve said and what you keep on saying. Thank you for putting me in that position. Thank you for everything. Basta thank you.
11. Mr. Separate Lives. I’m so happy that you are so in love with…. Me… este her pala (ngork!) I’m really, really happy and so kilig! I pray that things will turn out well. Remember your joke before? “She” (remember?) may be jealous that we’re like this that’s why she did that to me? I somehow agree with that. It’s possible. No joke. sabi ko naman sa iyo sagutin mo na siya malay mo hindi yun nangyari hahaha
12. lavenderI pity you at some point. But every mistake has its consequence. I suggest you guard your dog very well… you don’t know where he lurks at night. And oh! By the way, I just want to make it clear. I didn’t put any bait to make him come to me. I was stupefied one night I heard him barking on my gate with tears in his eyes asking for food and shelter. How tragic… don’t you think?
13. Bore. ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA MO. And now you’re trying to save your face? ha ha ha You make me wanna vomit. You could have been more honest. I’m sure things would have gotten better. And I could have given you a calling card of one of the best flower shops in town and where to buy the cutest bears!
14. Blued. After the little red box in my bag, the weirdest thing that popped at my computer screen, the shocking event at the parking lot of Festival Mall wherein I wondered what to do to stop people from actually looking, and the dirt that the flowers created at the hood of my car…. I’m saying… yes.
15. christian. I miss your mom. She has an amazing talent. Idol! Mana ka! :) and umm… I heard what you just said last week when we were together. I wasn’t sleeping. I just closed my eyes ‘coz my head hurts. My reaction? Hay…
16. arn. How do you numb your skin after a romantic touch? How do you free your soul after you found a friend? How do you teach your heart to cry to fall in love again? :D your confession is really flattering. I know that a lot of girls want you to look at them the way you look at me (wag ka nang mag-deny. As if I don’t know anything). Thank you for appreciating who I am. Muntik na nga kong mapa-tumbling nun kaso di ako marunong. hahaha ;p Salamat po
17. tim. What more can I ask from you? Nothing I guess. Thank you for taking the risk of putting yourself into trouble. I pray that you’ll be blessed for all the good things you’ve done to me. 9 points? Keep it up! It’s nice talking to you again. Nice seeing you again. Good people are blessed so I’m confident that things will be better for you. Thank you for everything. Super thank you.
18. popo. I hope I did not offend you with my honesty.
di ko pa nababasa ng buo. i have read the first paragraph only. scary masyado. i'll read it again pag nakahinga na ko
ReplyDeletekaya ka pala hindi na nagpaparamdam...
ReplyDelete:(
-popo
it's so dangerous to make nice girls like you mad
ReplyDeleteit's about time you speak up.
ReplyDeletethank you. i promise to keep in mind what you told me.
ReplyDeleteYou're beautiful and I am weakened by the force of your eyes
So shine bright to separate the truth from the lies
I'm gonna show you love
I'm gonna show you a love in every language
I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before
sobra na. naaasar na ko sa iyo.
ReplyDeletedati naging single ang heartthrob ng village natin for 1 1/2 years! nakakapagtaka kasi 1-2 months lang siya vacant madalas. malaman-laman ko na lang, may tama pala sa iyo! at syempre ang swit dahil every night after nyo mag-usap sa phone, magmo-motorbike siya going to your house para dumaan sa tapat ng room mo since corner lot kayo, at bubusina pa siya to say "hi". kala mo hindi ko alam yun. ako na 13 years na niyang kapitbahay di niya napapansin tapos ikaw?! nagkita lang kayo sa tindahan! ok lang yun kasi friend kita. what i couldn't accept was you said no after he invited you out! halos matulala ako kakaisip kung bakit ka nag-no!
what am i complaining about? i learned you said no to ano! crush ko yun. epekto ba yan ng di mo pagkain?
you shouldn't be flattered. i should be :)
ReplyDeletei know what's happening with you. i'm going to make you choose. you save his ass by sacrificing to take the first option i gave you or you don't do that but we will do something.
ReplyDeletewe're sorry chachi if we're making things harder for you. but chrm was right. kung puro sama lang ng loob ang dala niya, ituring mo na lang siyang patay.
ReplyDeletehahahaha!
ReplyDeleteGod bless cha
;p
why are you saying no to our invitations? why do you prefer to be alone? when ka pa naging ganiyan? you were never like that
ReplyDeleteand the people were telling me that nothing's wrong. maybe visiting manila is a good decision
ReplyDeleteyou asked me what i think about what had happened. there's nothing to say. you said it already... everyone's a victim.
ReplyDeletewhat should you do? you're a beatiful girl inside and out. you know your worth.
was i not right when i warned you not to be too close with any guy after the incident last year? good thing you've got good character and strong will to resist from getting too close. at least, you never victimized anybody. though i know some who got hurt but they're the ones who are so much into you that they wanted to have you right there and then. they didn't wait.but it's not your fault because you made things clear to them. good job.
sheena - tnx for dropping by
ReplyDeletetish - i'm not mad *wink*
choco - tnx to you
blued - nice song
crazy girl - sowee
^!?|\| - smile always
donald - i'm ok
mr. i'm-not-avoiding-you-miss - ei!
lanie - see yah soon
bestfriend - your love has set me flying (huh?)
tmg - see yah soon too
hey cutie....mwah miss you na...one thing....i hate fax tones!
ReplyDeletekiko